-closure (psych.): a feeling that an emotional or traumatic experience has been resolved
-Do not take revenge, dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
–Romans 12:19
-But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when You come into Your kingdom.” Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with Me in paradise.”
–Luke 23:40-43
Recently, I’ve been plagued by memories of “unfinished business” from a distant past…
One example:
I had terminated a particularly tumultuous and twisted relationship, and the man in question demanded that we continue meeting, as many times as necessary, so he could “get closure.” By the end of the second “session,” I was done. Sadly, he’d ignored “best practices,” and neglected to send me a memo of the agenda, which read as follows…
_AGENDA DETAILS_
I. INTRODUCTION
-no introductory or conciliatory remarks
II. OLD BUSINESS
-all Shelbo’s past transgressions
III. NEW BUSINESS
-all Shelbo’s current transgressions
IV. RECITATION OF CATCHY MISSION STATEMENT
-performed by Mr. Ex
-“Your life will suck without me.”
V. FOR THE GOOD OF THE ORDER
-a special presentation of Mr. Ex as the innocent victim, bloodied and blindsided by the evil Shelbo
VI. WRAP-UP
-awkward silence
Closure for him was my taking 100% of the blame for our demise; I countered with a 50/50 proposition. Neither of us would get what we wanted.
We all have our preconceived notions of what a “right and proper ending for x or y” looks like, what’s “fair.” We lament the conversation that didn’t happen. We wait for an apology that never comes. We witness, or suffer, a wrong that goes unpunished. That sense of injustice weighs on our heart. For me, it’s like a task on a to-do list that I’m waiting for someone else to check off…sometimes for years. So, I’m sharing a couple of these “items” with my therapist, and he says, “Okay, this didn’t end the way you had hoped. If it had, would you have lived your life any differently going forward?”
Oo…
Oof!
“No…it would’ve changed how I felt at the time…but not ultimately what I did.”
“Then does it really matter?”
That’s when it hit me…
Closure can be concluding that it doesn’t matter…and choosing to move on…
To let go, and let God…
To pull my attention off “earthly closure”…and to focus on Jesus.
He suffered the greatest injustice the world would ever see…
To bring the most beautiful closure we can ever know…
Salvation…love…hope…peace…
And eternal life with Him.
That’s what REALLY matters.