-Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
–2 Corinthians 4:16
-And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.
–Hebrews 12:1b-2a
-For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
–2 Timothy 4: 6-7
It seems the older I get, the more frequent the reminders of my mortality…
Exhibit A: I just celebrated my 60th birthday. I know, age is just a number, blah blah blah, but it’s a…bigger number. At this stage in the game I have to consider myself beyond the halfway point in the journey to my Maker…more of the trail behind me than ahead of me.
Exhibit B: During a recent trip to the doc, I was handed the diagnosis of “hallux rigidus.” No whining here, there are far worse pieces of news I could’ve received! Nevertheless, this demands a few lifestyle changes, mainly greater mindfulness in footwear and activities in general.
So, me being me, it became a matter of prayer…
“This body is on loan from You, Lord, and I’m so grateful. I’ve done my best to care for it, but I understand it wasn’t made to last forever. Every day it’s wearing out a little more, just part of the process. As I move forward, please guide me, give me discipline and discernment, on how to best support these feet, because I only get the one set, correct? Thanks, Lord!”
Not all answers come immediately, but when they do, I grab a notebook so I don’t miss anything…or lose it entirely…
Exhibit C: I. have. to. write. down. EVERYTHING. As soon as it pops into my head.
Here’s what He shared…
“Ready, Shelbo? Three things…
- Rest. You need to prioritize rest.
- Slow down. Take more time on fewer tasks.
- Lower the intensity as you do them. You can’t go as hard as you always have.
You’re in a marathon now. I’ll help you set the pace, if you’ll let Me.”
No coincidence (because, God) that I was in long-distance track back in the day. Submitting and committing to a pace set by my Trainer? I can run with that concept (um, sorry). That being said, and again, me being me, there are days I do too much and that joint blows up…yet, in my defense, I’m “mostly consistently” vigilant and obedient.
The ripples of that directive didn’t end there.
Let’s just say…it’s been a difficult year already. There have been funerals, medical emergencies, family and friends to visit and encourage, and I’ve been crisscrossing the country in my car for months. On the final leg back from the latest trip, I got a message from Emotional Me…the “I could burst into tears at any given moment and I’m not really sure why but once it happens it’s gonna take a while” message.
Practical Me responded, “Understood, but I’m driving right now, and we all just want to get home at this point, right?”
I ended up pulling off the highway.
My therapist Tony told me once, “You have to treat yourself as well as you treat your vehicle. You religiously adhere to the maintenance schedule, and if the check engine light comes on, you bring it in right away. But when your check engine light goes off, you keep going and going, until you completely break down. And then the repair is more lengthy and costly.”
He’s not wrong. I’m all about sucking it up and pushing through! I do ask God for help, and He does…but He’s not an enabler, and it’s not sustainable.
So there I was, parked in a field road ugly-crying, when, in between sobs, I got a Nudge.
The next ripple.
“Okay, Lord, stop me if I’m off base here…just as You told me I need to rest, slow down, lower intensity…I was only thinking of the physical…now I’m feeling…I also need to apply that to the emotional, mental, and spiritual…yes?”
Invisible Nodding and Love flooded my entire being…body, mind, and soul.
I can’t ignore the check engine light…
Or run this marathon at a full-on sprint.
If I’m to “finish well,” it’s all about rolling in this race…
At His pace…
With His grace.
Acts 20:24–However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me–the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.