-Divorce Care is a safe place where caring people come alongside you as you find healing from the pain of separation or divorce. At this 13-week, video-based program, you’ll find helpful counsel to manage the emotional turmoil and practical tools for decision-making.
–divorcecare.org
-We may not fully know ourselves, but He does. We can trust Him. Even in our sin, our doubt, as we come to Him, broken by others and by life, He can make us, love us, into whole and healed.
–field notes, 2023
-But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
–2 Corinthians 3: 16-18
I’ve been a facilitator in the Divorce Care program of my church for some time now. Every group is different, every participant unique…and yet…members generally fall into two camps. You have those who sit and absorb, “quick to listen, slow to speak.” Sprinkled among them are the ones who are ready to rock, to vent and share insights, with the goal of helping and lifting up the others as much as themselves.
“Larry” was the latter. He was very open and candid about the pain he was experiencing, and he questioned where God was in the whole horrific process…heck, in his life. At the same time, he acknowledged that he hadn’t exactly set out the welcome mat, but more or less kept Him at arm’s length.
During one of our discussions we were encouraging him to seek out a community of believers, go to the Word, pray, dig in with the Lord, to which he replied…
“I’m not sure how I feel about that. I mean, I see my friends who’ve become born again, and, I don’t know, they’re just different. They’re a little weird. I don’t want to lose myself. I still want to be me.”
I couldn’t help it. I started laughing. “Dude! You won’t lose yourself. You will be even MORE you.”
He looked askance. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
We all assured him it was a very good thing, and I added, “You’re awesome. The world needs more of Larry.”
In response, he muttered something along the lines of “Yeah, sure, whatever.”
It made me think back to my own journey with Jesus. “I still want to be me” was not my issue…
Once the dust settled after altar call, I started looking around. Not unlike the early weeks of my teaching career, I began keenly observing my new “colleagues.” What’s a “church lady” supposed to look like? Talk like? Act like?
In record time, I was mired in discouragement. I was neither ethereal nor motherly nor dignified, and Christian-speak was this whole separate language with a “secret club” undercurrent. All the “branded a misfit” crap from my middle school tenure welled up in my psyche. If I ever hoped to fit in, a major reworking was in order.
I tried. Of course, all these efforts were under my own power (and limited knowledge), and I never stopped to consider that He had called me, not some mythical, future, reconstructed Shelbo with delusions of perfect sainthood. After many square peg-round hole maneuverings, the unease and exhaustion finally drove me to my knees and to a heartfelt consult with my Maker, and, well, that was the beginning…
Of my life as a work in progress.
Once a baby is born, it doesn’t stop growing.
Same for a born again.
Fast forward to a random/not random visit to Barnes and Noble…
“Hey! I know you! Divorce Care, right?”
I spin around, my smile widening. “Yes! Larry! How are you?”
Double take. “How do you remember my name?!”
I look him straight in the eye. “Because…I’ve been praying for you for a year now!”
“Really?”
I nod.
He shrugs. “Yeah, okay…it worked…”
He proceeds to tell me what I can clearly see shining through on his whole face, his whole person…he started going to church again, joined a Bible study, reestablished his relationship with God, found some solid friends…possibly love?…in this new crew of faith.
He was Larry 2.0.
The Jesus reboot.
The conversation spooled out, arms pinwheeling, belly laughs, tears of joy. Praise and worship between the stacks.
Until, all too soon/at the proper time, we hugged and parted, with no exchange of numbers, no plans to reconnect.
That one-time, God-orchestrated moment was all we needed.
A moment to celebrate “the more…”
More freedom. More comfort. More strength. More love. More joy. More peace.
John 10:10b–“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
A moment to celebrate our Savior Jesus Christ.