Field Notes From A Prayer Warrior

-“…the harsh reality (is) that replying to your BFF’s Instagram story doesn’t count as catching up. I’ve done this for so long that it’s become a guilt-inducing normality for me–the lazy girls guide to friendships. I want to connect more, to have a real conversation beyond the somewhat vapid small talk and reactionary comments, but I find excuses. ‘I’m too busy,’ is a classic lie I often tell myself. ‘I hate talking on the phone’ is another. There may be a little veracity in both of these excuses, but I fear the truth is, social media has made me a lazy friend.”

–“Social media has made me a lazy friend” by Catherine Leilah Earnshaw,

-“Try concentrating, not on the ‘lazy’ part, but on the ‘friend’ part.”

–my therapist Tony

-Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

–John 15:13

Lazy friends.

You know what I’m talking about. You’ve got a history, been through years of ups and downs together…BUT…

-You always have to make the call/reach out.

-It’s up to you to initiate a meetup.

-They make it to the party, never the planning.

-Reply to voicemail? email? texts? Maybe…maybe not.

You’re in a place of acceptance, but at times it’s confusing, frustrating, annoying, even demoralizing…living in exile on the muddy bottom of their list of priorities. “Technology has made it so easy to communicate,” you ruminate, “It’s been a week. They couldn’t find five seconds to send…something?”

I mean, I can accept a “no.” What’s difficult is a “no response at all.”

Since my last session with Tony, I’ve been attempting the “concentrate on the ‘friend’ part”…with a lot of extra help from my Lord. This morning I brought a couple of those relationships up in prayer…then paused…sat with it…with Him…waiting…silently

Mercifully, before long His love came pouring in, and I cried out in humility and joy…

“Lord, everything I am, everything I have is because of You. I have nothing to give except my love. Here it is…it’s all I’ve got…”

He wrapped me in a big ol’ Jesus hug…and gently hit me with this…

“Love those friends with My love, Shelbo.”

In the next moment came recollections of the many instances I’ve been “too busy” to rest in Him or to book some special time together…or, WORSE, come into His presence all distracted, unfocused, not listening, just “blah, blah, blah, all about me, grocery list, I’m hungry, okay, gotta go, bye!”

Ugh. Talk about lame.

I needed to give them some grace…as much as He’s given me, time and time again…

“Shelbo, you never call, you never write…”

He has made it so easy to talk to Him, to meet with Him…

Anywhere, anytime. No WiFi required.

No travel, no ceremonial washing, no sacrifices.

Jesus died on the cross…that we would be free from sin and death! The veil was torn…that we could freely come before our God! He’ll even speak for us, through His Spirit!

So, before I take a speck out of a “lazy friend’s” eye, I might want to look for a plank in my own?

“Oh, Lord, help me be as true, and truly involved, of a friend to others, and to You, as You have always been to me.”

I have no better example.

Friendship…love…is not something you have.

It’s something you do.

John 3:16–For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.



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