Field Notes From A Prayer Warrior

A blog…really?

I thank the Lord for hugs. The way I see it, we’re all just a mess of broken pieces held together with the glue of God’s love, and in every hug we squeeze those pieces and that Love into an even tighter bond. In those moments we keep each other whole and even more connected to Him, ourselves, and each other.

–excerpt from prayer journal on 11/30/2020

This is the inspiration for this blog…that in sharing we can help each other on this journey to knowing Him and the life He wants for us.

Because I believe prayer is sharing a hug with God.

The birth of a prayer warrior…

I kind of wish I had something more dramatic to share, a real “road to Damascus, come to Jesus” moment.

It was just a little nugget hiding in a sermon…”daily Bible study, heartfelt, reflective, consistent, blah, blah, blah.” Nothing I hadn’t heard before, but it hit me…no, not like a thump on the head and a Monty Python God pointing at me proclaiming, “Yes, Shelby…YOU!!” Instead, I REALLY HEARD IT, then shrugged and thought, “Why not?”

Why is it that sometimes those “Why not, let’s give it a try” commitments are the ones that stick?

The next morning I launched my practice, calling it “Breakfast with the Bible.” I started with one verse and a short prayer…with new habits, I start small.

That was five years ago.

Timing. Is. Everything.

In the six months that followed I was hit with a string of events that would’ve been at home in a “How Bad is Your Stress?” quiz: death of a father, marital separation, death of a friend, change in financial status…I could go on, but you get the idea.

That daily practice kept me focused on Him, occasionally freaked out, but somehow confident that everything was going to work out and I would be sane at the end. I’d never had that before. In the past, when the going got tough, I got TOUGHER! I soldiered on! I did what I needed to do! Or, um, I did what I THOUGHT I needed to do.

Because why talk to God and look into His Word? Just because He created me and this world and is loving and all-knowing? Wow, I mean, what kind of help can I hope to find there?

I’m not always sarcastic, but when I am, I’m trying to drive a point home for me. If anyone else gets value from it, that’s a bonus!

I don’t want to act like I was some bad*ss chick that became impervious and implacable to the stings and slings of life. At times I couldn’t see a way through or even figure out WHAT TO PRAY FOR. One night I dropped to the bathroom floor and said, “Lord, I just don’t know…I just don’t know…” over and over again, my body wracked with huge, gulping, stuttering wails and sobs (the bathroom floor doesn’t strike me as the most reverent place to pray, but I find myself there a lot!). When I was finally done (that time), three thoughts went through my head:

1. You don’t know, but I do.

2. You can get up now.

3. Philippians 4:13–I can do all things through Christ, Who strengthens me.

And then I have the nerve to question Him, after all that…

Me: A blog, Lord? Really?!

God: Why not? Let’s give it a try.

So, here I am.

Here I am, Lord.

Here I am, brothers and sisters.

Field Notes from a Prayer Warrior.

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