-“Time is the greatest gift you can give someone. Because it’s like giving a portion of your life that you’ll never get back.”
–Unknown
-ate and left no crumbs (def.): someone who did a very good job; synonym for amazing, awesome, or slay
–urbandictionary.com
-He said, “Come to the table, come join the sinners who have been redeemed.” Take your place beside the Savior. Sit down and be set free. Come to the table…
–Come to the Table by Sidewalk Prophets
-Jesus replied, “A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. At the time of the banquet, he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, ‘Come, for everything is now ready.’
But they all alike began to make excuses…”
–Luke 14: 16-18a
I love how the Lord gives me lessons when I’m being judgy. I’ll be ruminating on what this person did or didn’t do, what I would do, and through subtle and artful orchestration, it all ends up course-correcting and dropping a truth bomb right on top of me.
In the most recent example, I was reckoning with the past…
Back in college I was dating someone and the same issue kept resurging: the amount of time spent (or, rather, NOT spent) together. One day, in abject frustration, I blurted out, “I feel like I’m just waiting around for crumbs of your time.” I had always believed that when you loved someone, you would have a desire to spend as much time with them as possible. Not 24/7…but not random, haphazard, minimal contact either. Somewhere in the middle. As well, I pictured this…anticipation…a giddiness…in the space between meetings.
This was not our situation. I saw myself at best like an afterthought, at worst like a demanding and needy partner. Rarely could I pin him down to actual, concrete, specific dates and times. It invariably depended on this or that, these circumstances or those factors. Frequently that meant last-minute, if it was going to happen at all. So I capitulated. Adapted. Surely I’d be admired for my flexibility! I presented as easy-going and independent, but inside I felt unloved, disrespected, undervalued, and…resentful. We inevitably broke up–because how long can you stand, hungry, before a banquet and realize you are never going to be extended anything more than the crumbs that occasionally fall on the floor?
Just as I reached the point of self-righteous indignation in this mental ramble, He tossed in a question…
“Was it really quantity that you were seeking…or quality?”
Yo!
All these years I thought it was about the amount.
No, no, no!
It was about the effort, the intention, the heart…the quality of the time.
A relationship requires mutual regard for each other’s needs in time spent together. His error was prioritizing comfort and complacency over growth and depth; mine was contorting and twisting myself, my calendar, my expectations, to “fold into” his unyielding routine.
Okay…so…that being said…how am I doing with that, currently? Connecting with my family and friends?
With my God?
Because God does not fold.
He’s not there to squeeze into the open corners of my life, or conform to my schedule, or lower His standards in an area where I’m not ready to change, or willing to let go.
Our relationship can not be built, can not be sustained, on crumbs.
Every morning, the Lord has gifted me with a table piled with every good thing, and in the center there sits a golden cornucopia, stuffed with twenty-four hours. As I approach, do I call out with an enthusiastic “Thank You!” or just belly up and start gobbling down minutes without thought or preamble? Paying no mind to the other diners near me, initiating no conversation or even eye contact, as I scroll on my phone…or truly engaging with curiosity and compassion? Will I put Him off (because there’s fields and oxen and stuff), or will I lay all that aside and offer Him a heaping portion of undivided attention?
My default setting should be “Jesus, early and often.” Daily. Like…even when we part ways, before I sleep, I’m stacking Tupperware containers in His arms! And…how about this?…I can dine with Him like a Hobbit, not limited to 3 square meals, but second breakfast and Elevenses as well! No excuses…just gratitude and generosity. Giving to the One I can’t outgive. I will place Him at the head of the table, until I take a seat at the banquet He has prepared for me, for us all, in eternity.
I don’t want Jesus waiting on me. I want to wait on Him.
I want to be a follower who loves Him and serves Him…
Fully and abundantly.
Quantity and quality.
One who ate, left no crumbs.
4 thoughts on “Crumbs…”
Love this! Like you said last week, Throne before phone!! I’ve been doing it since. ❤️
The day really does go so much better, doesn’t it?❤️
Love this! You’re an awesome writer. ✍️
Oh, my gosh, Cindy, thank you so much! That means the world to me❤️